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Side By Side

Side By Side

I’m 6’6”.  Besides airplane bathrooms that is rarely an issue, except when you’re co-training with a 5’4” woman.  I remember at a break half-way through our training event she pulled me aside and said, “James, we have to get a stool.” I’ll be honest, the first thing that came through my head was, “She is NOT going to stand on a stool?!” Fortunately I have learned to ask questions, “What for?”  I asked. She said, “So you can sit on it!” Sometimes when we stand things next to each other we notice the differences. There’s a big difference in leaders that use their positions to lead, and leaders who lead people.  Positional leaders sit in the offices thinking “I’m responsible for this.”  Launching Leaders have a well worn path to the offices of the people on their team, creating a shared sense of responsibility and inspiring a shared vision. Positional Leader:  Sees people in need of their help Launching Leader:  Sees people as healthy creative and whole Positional Leader: Wants...

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Catching Up

Catching Up

I’m coaching a 47 year old woman, and the truth is she has become a real friend.  She said something last week that of all people I wouldn’t expect her to say, “I’m not good enough.” But that’s not where the conversation began, it started with, “James, I’m gaining weight again.” “What’s underneath the weight gain?” I asked her. “I don’t know.  But, there is something bigger here.”  Then she started laughing, hearing what she just said, “I’m not talking about me… I guess what’s bigger here is that I’ve not made myself a priority.  Everything and everybody else seems to get my time, and I don’t take care of myself. “What has to shift,” I asked, “for you to be a priority? And that is when she said it, ”I have to believe that I’m worth it.  It sounds weird, but believe that I’m good enough.” People don’t say that out loud even if they feel it.  And she kept going, “I feel tarnished and damaged.  And when...

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Launching People

Launching People

After dinner is wrestle time in my house. My kids and I get on the floor and it’s a free for all.  Often Blake will say, “Daddy can you make us fly?” Do you know what that is? Yeah… I lay with my back on the floor and my feet up in the air and my kids sit on my feet and I launch them into the air, higher than they could ever jump on their own.   They love it! That’s what great leaders do… get on their back, stick their feet up in the air and they launch people… higher than they could go on their own.  They serve by launching and their people love it! Launching people is really big. I was training a group of leaders and I told them this story of making my kids fly.  As I got done with the story, a guy, probably in his forties, interrupted me and said, “James, I can remember my Dad doing that with me as a...

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